Excuses, excuses, excuses...

One thing I have learnt over the past few weeks is that I am AWESOME at making excuses!! I have managed to make excuses for everything - why I can't excercise, why I can't eat healthy, why I can eat unhealthy when I have excerised and why I don't need to exercise when I have eaten healthy...

Time to face some cold hard facts...

Excuse: I am too tired to exercise/I have no energy
Response: Well of course you are 'too tired' you have sat around on your big butt procrastinanting all day - must be exhausting...when you exercise you feel better, sleep better and generally feel less tired - so just get off your butt and do it!!

Excuse: It is too hard to cook healthy food
Response: When your cupboards and your fridge are full of crap - yes it is hard - easy solution...replace the crap!! If you open the fridge to lots of fresh salad and vegetables then cooking healthy is so much easier!! And plan - standing at the fridge at 6.30 pm ummm and arrrring about what's for tea is a sure fire way to take an easy 'unhealthy' option - pizza, chicken & chips....

Excuse: I want to spend time with my family (therefore I can't exercise)
Response: this is a hard one because at the core - it is true - I do want to spend time with my family...however it is still an excuse!! Took me a bit of thinking to get to the bottom of this excuse however there are 2 parts...if I am overweight and unhealthy, I limit the time I can spend with my family long term (ie I shorten my own life!!) and secondly - I want my family to be healthy too...the solution - family exercise time!!

Excuse: can't have fun being healthy - particularly drinking
Response: this is pretty confronting - something I really need to own!! For as long as I remember - a few wines after work has been the norm and then the weekend consists of a few bottles of wine!! I am still grappling with this...but I did a bit of research and found for a 200 ml glass of wine - that is 135 calories which needs about a 30 minute walk to burn...I also found alcohol are 'empty' calories - this means there is absolutely no nutritional value!! So I have concluded I can not lose weight and get healthy whilst I am still pouring wine in... (at the moment, I have reduced my wine intake and started replacing with soda water and lemon - however I still crave wine...any ideas welcomed!!)

These are just a few of the excuses I have identified...no matter what the excuse they are blocking me from my ultimate goal - to find my bikini bod!!

Well the time has come to own these excuses and put them to bed once and for all!! The time is NOW...

And the journey begins...

Here I am, at the beginning of my weight loss journey. I have made the decision to find my bikini bod!! I know it is under here somewhere!! This time next year, I wanna strut my stuff - in a bikini!! Last time I wore a bikini, I was 9!

I have set the goal to lose 35 kg and tone my flabby bod by Christmas 2013. I joined Michelle Bridges' 12WBT - this is my support and accountability!! Even better - my Mum has joined too! It is awesome to be taking this journey with my favourite lady :-)

I don't really know when I started to have a problem with my weight - I guess it was a bit of denial! As I teen and through my 20's I never really had to watch my diet and regularly played sport. As the kids came along - the sport stopped and what I ate and drank started to show up on my hips - and bum, and belly, and arms...I knew I was putting on the beef but found every excuse under the sun to do nothing about it. I always thought I could lose the weight without too many problems...gradually I tipped the scales at 100 kg - woah!! I am only 156cm tall - BMI = morbidly obese... I remember the first time I saw those words to describe me! MORBIDLY OBESE - the meaning of morbidly: Gruesome; grisly - ohhh shit, I was now soooo fat, I was gruesome!! Well that was a smack in the mouth!! And so began a roller coaster of diets - low calorie, low carb, no carb, cookies, detox, pills, potions, cabbage soup (smelly much!!)...of course nothing worked! I started at the wrong spot! Then I got my head straight - I didn't 'diet' - I ate sensibly and I exercised regularly! Guess what?? It worked and it was sustainable!! I had lost nearly 12 kg, I had run the City to Bay in a reasonable time and I was enjoying my healthy habits -then BANG - Surprise...you are having another baby...OMG "How did that happen???"...yes, yes, I know, when a mummy loves a daddy and they have a special cuddle... But really - that was the last thing I expected to happen. Over the pregnancy, I was very good...I kept exercising and I kept my food intake in check...At 27 weeks I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes - within 2 weeks I was injecting insulin 4 times a day! The next couple of weeks were awful...I couldn't control my blood sugars so had to keep increasing the insulin, I was becoming polyhydramnios (too much amniotic fluid around bub) and had a horrible feeling that things weren't right! At 32 weeks, I had to have an ultra sound just to check the placenta was in the right spot - previously had been a bit low...the ultra sound revealed all was not well with bub - she was developing hydrops (fluid collection in several parts of her body)! I was rushed to the WCH were Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors rushed around me, ultra sounding from every direction (and I do mean EVERY!!)...I was admitted to hospital then and there and told I wouldn't be going home until my bub was born...WTF...this doesn't happen to ME!! I had had 2 completely normal uneventful pregnancies - what was this?? Needless to say - I was scared and my head was in a spin - was it something I did?? A week later - after the doctors tried to drain the fluid (a wonderful story for another blog!!) - at 33 weeks - the MFM doctor told me he wanted to deliver our bub - on Sunday, Mother’s Day...He said he didn't want to wait another day!! So 8th May 2011 - our Princess Tayla joined the world - very sick but with fight in her eyes!! The next 4 months were an experience!! Princess took us on a roller coaster of emotion (there is a whole other blog!!) but finally came home - happy and completely healthy - would you believe it - Father’s Day!! By this time - hospital food and take out and NO exercise had ballooned my weight back to 95kg! Our little blessing bought me and my man as close as we had ever been and we decided (after 20 years…) to take the plunge and finally get married…so I fluffed around, trying half-heartedly to lose weight. Somewhere in my head I had made it okay to be overweight – after all, it is what is on the inside that counts…and all brides look beautiful!! The wedding was everything I’d dreamed of and I refuse to regret my weight – it was where I was at the time!! That was 5 months ago!! I am not comfortable with my weight so reluctantly, I stepped on the scales to see the numbers horribly close to 100 kg again!! MORBIDLY OBESE...The time is NOW!!

My little princess - then

My little princess - now